I Said , “Three, God Said Five, I said I Can’t, God Said, You Can: ”Even teaching my child how to die.
Life has a way of showing us that our plans are just that—our plans. When you surrender to God’s will, you often find that He has a sense of humor that, you may not fully appreciate in the moment. But, Let me take you on my journey, The now and then; One that began with a perfect family plan and , ended with lessons in faith, love, and resilience.
The Perfect Plan: Like many young couples, my husband and I had a vision for our family. We dreamed of a perfectly balanced household—two boys and a girl. We had already been blessed with two boys, ages five and seven, who were, by all accounts, spoiled rotten. It was time for the final piece of our puzzle: our baby girl.
We got pregnant, couldn’t have been more excited. Everything was going according to plan. During the pregnancy, my doctor kept reassuring me that I was carrying “one big baby.” I had gained 22 pounds—more than I did with either of my boys, I gained just 10 pounds with each of them. We were certain that this “big baby” was our little girl. God, however, had other plans.
A Divine Twist: As the pregnancy progressed, the baby became too heavy for me to carry to term. My doctor recommended inducing labor, and we agreed. But as the hospital staff prepped me for the procedure, they made a shocking discovery: I wasn’t carrying one baby—I was carrying three.
Triplet. Three: My doctor was ecstatic. My husband was overjoyed, looking at a man in the mirror with two cigarettes in his mouth, that man was him. Me, “I wanted to run out of the hospital, and keep running until I was no longer pregnant. I was in such a state of shock that I later self-diagnosed myself with a nervous breakdown. But no one noticed me, “They were too busy celebrating the arrival of the triplets.
The Unusual Delivery: Natural delivery was stopped. One baby’s umbilical cord was wrapped around the neck of another, so they had to push it back and prepare me for surgery. After what felt like an eternity, the triplets arrived safely: two girls and one boy.
We stayed in the hospital over 21 days. The babies were in the neonatal intensive care unit (As preemies). I was on a different floor, recovering the from surgical ordeal and processing what had just happened to me.
The Fear of Not Enough Love: In those first few days, while everyone else was celebrating, I was spiraling. I was only in my late twenties, not even 30 yet. I had gone from being the mother of two boys to the mother of five, “in the blink of an eye.”How could I manage five spoiled children? How could I love three babies at once?
The fear consumed me. I made a decision that I would take one baby home and put the other two up for adoption. It wasn’t because I didn’t want them—it was because I was terrified that I wouldn’t be able to love them enough. I wanted them all to have the love and care they deserved, and in my fragile state, I didn’t believe I could provide that. I was not going to see my babies until two were taken away.
But, God Intervene: A particularly stern nurse ignored my option, she brought me upstairs to see the babies. When I saw them lying there, so small and fragile, something inside me shifted. These were my babies. I didn’t know how, but I knew I could love them all. They were mine, and I would find a way.
God Wasn’t finish with Us: Just as we were beginning to adjust to life as a family of seven, God had another plan. Our two oldest sons, the same boys who had been our entire world before the triplets arrived, passed away.
There is no pain like burying your child. It is a heartache that defies explanation. It breaks you in ways you didn’t think were possible. I didn’t think I could survive it, but somehow, I did. In His mercy, God left us with three children: two girls and one boy. Our family of five was now complete, just not in the way we had imagined. We would have gladly kept a family of seven, had we been given the choice.
The triplets were a blessing we didn’t ask for, but they grab their special place in our hearts and created their own light in our lives, after the unimaginable loss of our older sons. Raising them hasn’t always been easy, but it has been worth every challenge. They taught me that love isn’t something you measure or divide—it’s something that grows, even when you think you have nothing left to give.
Lessons in Faith and Resilience: Looking back, I realize that this journey was God’s way of teaching us about faith, resilience, and the depth of His love. He gave us what we needed, not what we thought we wanted. He taught us that even in our darkest moments, His mercy is never far away.
God’s Sense of Humor: God does have a sense of humor, doesn’t He? Here we were, trying to plan our perfect little family, and He gave us something entirely different. He reminded us that we are not in control and, that His plans are always better than ours.
It’s funny now, thinking about how I thought I couldn’t love three babies at once. I thought I couldn’t handle five children. But God knew better. He knew what our family would need, even before we did.
A Final Word: Life doesn’t always go the way we plan, but that’s okay. Sometimes, God’s sense of humor comes with blessings that are disguised as challenges. It’s up to us to embrace them, even when we don’t understand them.
I hope you enjoyed reading my story. If you’ve ever felt overwhelmed by life’s twists and turns, just remember: God’s plans are always greater than ours. Trust Him, even when it’s hard.
Stay tuned for my next blog, where I’ll share, “teaching my child how to die.” The pain of losing a child, and how God’s mercy carried me through.
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